The last post was really long, my apologies, but that is life right now...long and tiring. I so need to vent...
When we first heard the diagnosis and treatment plan, I thought I was mentally prepared for 6 months of craziness. I was NOT. We are now 3 months into a '6 month plan' and not even done with cycle 2. This is half of what I thought it would be and I am done.
It gets old asking people for help all the time, even if they say they don't mind. It gets old having to schedule 4 people's lives so that we can have an hour or two together every night for dinner. It gets old rushing through dinner and hurrying your 4 year old and not ever getting to spend real time with your husband or family because it's almost bed time and everyone has to get up early tomorrow to start another crazy day. It gets old not being able to be the mother or wife you want to be because you're just stretched too thin and you hope someone else is making up the difference. It gets old not being able to exercise and feeling yucky all the time and staring at the same walls and people.
It just gets old and there is no end in sight. I realized today that we will still be here when Averi turns 2 in May. When Averi was born, I accepted that we would never have a 'typical' life, but how far from typical are we expected to venture? How many times am I going to take out my frustrations and lack of sleep on my husband before he gets tired of it because he is so sleep deprived himself? How long? I just want it to be done so we can go back to whatever 'typical' is supposed to be for us. I was so not prepared for this.