Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The Results Are In

I've been avoiding this post because I don't quite know how to word it...here goes.

I finally got 'the phone call' today.  It only took them an entire week to get back with us, but at least now we have the final results and we can be done with it (in reality I'm bummed we didn't hear the preliminary results last week but I'm trying to stay positive).

The oncologist said the biopsy looked fine.  I felt a wave of relief wash over me...and then he kept talking.  He said the pathologist made a note that one of the cells looked a bit off.  They don't know what's making it look different and they aren't at all concerned about it.  As far as chemo is concerned, she doesn't need any more treatments at this time.  And then Mr. No-bedside-manner topped off the conversation by reminding me that there is always a chance that the cancer will one day return.

I hung up the phone and just sat there, confused about how I should feel.  If there's nothing to be concerned about then why couldn't he have just said that everything looked fine and left it at that?  Why remind an already over stressed mom that her daughter's cancer could return?  I know that; I watched it happen to the little boy down the hall.

I'm thrilled that we're done with chemo but my overconfidence that everything was going to be super fantastic was just smashed.  I suppose it's a time for celebration but now there will always be a small part of me that will always worry (and in truth it would have been there anyways).

Regardless of the small worries, we are done with this phase of our lives and ready to move on to getting Averi's port out and returning to 'normal' life!


Celeste Ferguson said...

I love you Tiff! Just enjoy this moment. :)

Lauren in GA said...

I think I would feel the same exact way, Tiffany.