Poor Averi! The effects of chemo are finally setting in.
Yesterday Dan took the day off work to sit with Averi while I went with Kaili on her field trip. It is now official that whenever I leave bad things happen. Dan called at 9:00 in the morning to inform me that Averi had just thrown up her entire breakfast.
She continued to throw up throughout the morning but finally calmed down after they gave her some medicine. When Kaili and I got here for dinner she looked pale and had bags under her eyes but was playing and handling her pump feeds at a really slow rate.
Averi looked really tired so I put her to bed expecting a restful night that would help her feel better. Wrong! She threw up 4 more times between 10:30 and 1:00. Finally the nurse gave her a different medicine that would help with the nausea and had a side effect of sleepiness...thank goodness.
She made it to 7:00 this morning before the medicine wore off and she got sick a couple more times. The poor thing was just restless all night and I woke up every time she coughed and ran to the bed to make sure she wasn't laying in puke. Fortunately she is still 'sleeping' now.
I have to admit that this brought on my first melt down. I know she feels awful and I just feel so helpless. There's nothing I can do but change her sheets, wipe her down, and rub her back. Why does she have to go through all this? Her life is hard enough, why does she have to feel like crap too?
It's not even that I'm bitter about the short straw she's been handed in life, I've accepted that. I'm just tired of not being able to make things better for her. I feel so incapable. She's my daughter and I love her so much and I should be able to kiss it all better. Isn't that what mom's do?