Sunday, November 29, 2009

Elecare

Two weeks after Averi’s surgery and endoscopy, I get a call from the GI doctor. She starts asking me a bunch of questions about how Averi is doing, if she is still on breast milk, what foods I’m still eliminating from my diet, if there is still blood in her poop, blah, blah, blah. She then tells me she got the biopsy results back and Averi has significant inflammation and irritation in her small intestines. Translated, that means some food is still bothering her.

She kept using the significant word and then told me that she wanted to try taking Averi off of breast milk again and putting her on a prescription formula with absolutely no allergens for three weeks. In the mean time I am to continue not eating dairy and soy and just freeze all my milk. I was devastated! The doctor then told me that she would put us in contact with the social worker because the formula is really expensive and insurance won’t cover it at all, and you know when a doctor says it’s expensive, it’s expensive.

Elecare then walked into our lives at $50 out-of-pocket for a can that will last 3 days.
So, Tiffany, if pumping is so hard and time consuming, you can’t eat the foods you like, and you’re currently doing it just to give the milk away because your daughter can’t eat it right now, why are you still doing it? Many people have asked me and even more have not, so I want to explain myself although I do not expect many to understand.
I do not continue to pump because my mom is a lactation consultant and I want to impress her or anyone else. I do it because it is one of the few things that I can give to my daughter. I can’t give her the comfort of eating while cuddled in someone’s arms, or even the comfort of eating at all. I can’t give her the ability to breathe better or make her reflux go away. I can’t ease her pain, or erase the scar on her chest, or stop milk from going into her lungs, or take the irritating tube out of her stomach. I can’t make her right ear hear or make her reach her milestones at the same time other kids her age do.
But I CAN provide her with the sacrifice of my time, energy, and talents. I can also give her milk with antibodies and nutrients to help aid her little body that has already endured so much. It may seem silly but it is a special gift that only I can give her, and I do it because I love her.

8 comments:

Glenn and Melanie said...

OK - just make me cry. You are a good mom. Love ya

Celeste Ferguson said...

Tiff...I am bawling! :( You are so sweet, Hang in there! I love you, and wish we lived close so I could help you.

Lauren in GA said...

Totally crying, now. That was beautiful.

You are a wonderful mother.

Sara Emily said...

You are such a good mom Tiffany. :) Averi is so blessed to have you!

BJ said...

Amazing Tiffany. Your daughters are so blessed to have you as their mother!

Nicki said...

I don't feel so bad for tearing up. Apparently, I'm not the only one. Averi is blessed to be a part of your lives.

The Giaimo's said...

You are amazing!!

Danielle said...

I am a mother of 4, RN that works in L&D and is a lactation councelor, and YOU ARE AMAZING! It's a slow night at work and reading your posts from the begining! I'm anxious to see how everything turns out! You are an amazing mom, and truely magnify the calling of motherhood! WOW!