You Know You've Lived in a Hospital Too Long If...

• You don’t touch anything without first putting on sanitizer or spraying it with alcohol
• ‘Getting out’ means roaming the halls while pushing a plastic car and an IV pole
• Showering involves getting your flip flops and several handtowel sized towels with the fluffiness of sandpaper
• You know all the nurses, PCAs, and environmental services people by name, and sometimes they come hang out in your room just to visit
• Tons of strangers see you in your pjs and makeupless everyday (usually until about 1:00 in the afternoon) and you no longer think anything of it
• Your alarm clock is the nurse coming in to do meds
• You reorganize the nurse’s cart so that you can find things easier
• All of your food is labeled with your name, room number, and date, you can't remember the last time you had to cook a meal, and you are up to date on all the specials at Subway
• You only respond to ‘Averi’s Mom’
• You ask for something and the doctor says, “If that’s what the parents want then do it.”
• Vomit is whatever
• The highlights of your month are jewelry making night and free Raising Cane’s
• Your bed consists of an egg crate, three blankets, and a board in your back - and when you try to sleep in your own bed you can't get comfortable
• You’ve succumbed to the fact that your life is dictated by someone else
• You’re woken up by obnoxious beeping during the night and you reset the IV pump without calling for the nurse
• You say, “we’re going home” and you’re referring to the hospital