You’d think I would have been scared or in denial, but I was completely calm (maybe that had something to do with the anesthesia) and worried about her not breathing well. As they took my second baby away to the NICU and rolled me in to the recovery room, I looked at Dan and casually said, “Did you notice anything about her eyes?” He had been running around the operating room taking pictures and looking at my uteri that Dr. Arora had lay on my stomach and said he didn’t notice anything. I didn’t want to worry him for no reason so I left it at that.
Hours later I still sat in my hospital bed trying to shake the dizziness and itching so I could go see “Baby Girl Fisher” and hold her for the first time. Dan and I were talking to my nurse, Joe, when there was a knock on the door. Dr. Isbel, the neonatologist, walked in and started asking peculiar questions. “Did you notice that her head was extra floppy?” “Did you notice the crease in her hand or the thickness of her neck?” “Does she look like your other daughter?”
The last question affirmed what I already knew. “Her eyes,” was all I could say. She then explained that she thought our baby had Down Syndrome and that she was sending some blood to Nationwide Children’s Hospital for chromosomal testing and we wouldn’t know the results until Monday (it was Friday).I said okay, assured her I was fine, told the nurse I’d call if I needed anything, and turned to Dan. That’s when I realized that he had tears streaming down his face. I had already accepted this news before it was given, but this was a surprise for him. I wanted to do something for him but I couldn’t get out of bed. I insisted that he come lie down with me and we held each other for a long time. I finally got the courage to ask him if he was sad. “No,” he said, “I just know that she is where she’s supposed to be.”
We laughed at the fact that he couldn’t stop crying and that he was making me cry. Then we shared a silent moment where we looked each other in the eyes and agreed that this special spirit had been sent to our family for a reason.
6 comments:
Your positive attitude and willingness to raise and teach this special spirit is an example to all who know you. Heavenly Father must love you very much to bless you with such a special spirit.
Wow Tiffany. You are amazing. Averi is amazing. You guys have soooo many blessings in store, I just know it.
I love you all.
Tiffany, I just love you! You are so strong!! I am so proud of you!
You make me cry! Averi has such an amazing spirit. I felt it the first time I touched her. She will be an eternal blessing to your (our) family!
Oh, Tiffany...I am sobbing. This was so beautifully written. I agree with everything that Nicki said.
Dan is so right. She is where she is supposed to be.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm lovely freshpussy
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